In 2011, a programming dispute arose between DirecTV and Fox Network regarding license renegotiations. Fox hired our advertising agency to develop innovative, clever, or funny campaigns to garner attention from subscribers and draw support regarding the negotiations with DirecTV. As one of the freelance copywriters tasked with developing creatives, I submitted the following commercials towards the Fox Network campaign.
“DIRECT ISN’T ALWAYS THE WAY TO GO” Commercials
#1
Wife is fixing dinner; husband is sitting at the head of the table. Wife brings over a pitcher of lemonade.
WIFE: “Sweetheart, want some of my lemonade?”
HUSBAND: “Sure, honey.”
WIFE: (excited) “Oh I forgot to show you. Do you like this new dress I bought today?”
HUSBAND: “Hmm. It makes your hips look bigger, but the color is okay.”
Wife calmly pours her lemonade into his lap. Husband was extending his empty glass to her and remains still. He patiently sits as she keeps pouring. Close-up of his face with a look that says ‘Oh man, that was a bad idea’, as we hear the sound of pouring continue in the background.
TAGLINE: DIRECT
…ISN’T ALWAYS THE WAY TO GO.
NARR: ON SEPTEMBER 30, YOU COULD LOSE FX, FOX MOVIE CHANNEL, NATIONAL GEORAPHICS CHANNEL AND MORE! NOW THAT’S DEFINITELY NOT THE WAY TO GO! TELL DIRECTV YOU WANT YOUR FOX AND NOTHING LESS! GO TO WWW.KEEPFOX.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION.
#2
Two used car salesmen stand outside at a car dealership. A customer has just driven away pissed off.
CAR SALESMAN 1: “Don’t worry about them. They were just low balling.”
CAR SALESMAN 2: “Yeah we’ll get the next one.”
Potential customer Husband and Wife drive up. They walk around a car checking it out. Car Salesman 1 walks up to them.
Wife: “This car seems like a good one. I like the interior.”
CAR SALESMAN 1: “That one’s a good choice. That bad boy’s only been in one accident, the brakes work real well if you stay under 70, and the transmission makes this cool sound that really impresses the ladies. Should we write up the papers?”
Wife frowns; Husband gives him a funny look.
TAGLINE: DIRECT
…ISN’T ALWAYS THE WAY TO GO.
NARR: ON SEPTEMBER 30, YOU COULD LOSE FX, FOX MOVIE CHANNEL, NATIONAL GEORAPHICS CHANNEL AND MORE! NOW THAT’S DEFINITELY NOT THE WAY TO GO! TELL DIRECTV YOU WANT YOUR FOX AND NOTHING LESS! GO TO WWW.KEEPFOX.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION.
“LIFE IS BETTER WITH FOX” COMMERCIALS
#3
Main character is a guy in a big DirecTV Dish suit (kind of like the fruit of the loom fruit guys). Guy in DirecTV Dish suit comes home from work, has a tie on and briefcase in one hand, juicy bone in the other hand.
DIRECTV DISH: I’m home! Come here boy where are ya? I’ve got a nice big bone…
Stops in his track, there is toilet paper chewed everywhere, mudded paw prints on the couch, big round pee stain on the rug. His pet fox sits in the middle of all this with chewed up shoe in his mouth, looking so cute and fluffy. He looks up at his owner with these big round innocent eyes.
DIRECTV DISH: (gasp) “NO! OUT!!! OUT!!! OUT!!!”
Angry, he kicks the pet fox out of the house; the pet fox is sad and whimpering. Grumbling, he goes back in the house and he cleans up. After, he goes to let the dog back in and sees the gate was left open and the pet fox has run away.
Montage of the DirecTV Dish panicking and searching everywhere, putting up reward signs. He sits on a park bench to rest and sees other provider dishes playing with their pet foxes in the park. They are throwing balls, playing fetch etc.
A tear rolls down the DirecTV dish’s eye. He gives this sad whistle. Suddenly, he hears a bark, he looks up, and he sees his pet fox excitedly running toward him.
Slow motion both of them running towards each other, the fox jumps in his arms and they roll around so happy and cheesy.
TAGLINE: LIFE IS BETTER WITH FOX.
NARR: ON SEPTEMBER 30, YOU COULD LOSE FX, FOX MOVIE CHANNEL, NATIONAL GEORAPHICS CHANNEL AND MORE! NOW THAT’S DEFINITELY NOT THE WAY TO GO! TELL DIRECTV YOU WANT YOUR FOX AND NOTHING LESS! GO TO WWW.KEEPFOX.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION.
#4
Main character is a guy in a DirecTV Dish suit (kind of like the fruit of the loom fruit guys.) DirecTV Dish guy is on his porch yelling at his pet fox. Dish guy is emotional and torn about what he has to do.
DIRECTV DISH: “Just go! Scram, get out of here, you’re getting too expensive to keep around!”
Fox slowly walks off whimpering, looks back sadly.
Cut to a couple days later. It is dark and dreary and sad atmosphere in the house. DirecTV dish guy is at his kitchen sink sipping his coffee and looking out his window. He looks at his mug and it says “World’s Best Dish” with a picture of the Dish and the Fox happy together. He looks out the window and sees other provider dishes with their pet foxes. It is sunny and bright and happy outside. The other provider dishes are playing fetch with their pet foxes; the pet foxes are running around, tackling them, and licking them in the face.
DirecTV dish guy looks over at his doorway where his pet fox’s old leash is hanging and there are more pictures of him and his fox. Fades to black.
TAGLINE: LIFE ISNT THE SAME WITHOUT FOX.
NARR: ON SEPTEMBER 30, YOU COULD LOSE FX, FOX MOVIE CHANNEL, NATIONAL GEORAPHICS CHANNEL AND MORE! TELL DIRECTV THAT IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR FOX, THEY DON’T GET YOUR BUSINESS!
Fade in. DirecTV dish guy is in his kitchen with his mug in one hand and a leash in the other. It is attached to his new pet but we don’t see it yet. He looks down and the leash is attached to a peacock (reference to NBC). Close up to his face. He shakes his head.
“WHAT GOOD IS DIRECT IF IT DOESN’T DELIVER” Commercials
#7 (spoof of “empty dish” spot)
A couple is sitting in a new restaurant. Restaurant signs boast “Freshest Selections” and “DIRECT from local farms”. The couple points to steaks and eggs on the menu. Waiter comes out leading a cow and chicken to their table.
TAGLINE: WHAT GOOD IS DIRECT IF IT ISN’T SERVED RIGHT?
NARR: ON SEPTEMBER 30, YOU COULD LOSE FX, FOX MOVIE CHANNEL, NATIONAL GEORAPHICS CHANNEL AND MORE! NOW THAT’S DEFINITELY NOT THE WAY TO GO! TELL DIRECTV YOU WANT YOUR FOX AND NOTHING LESS! GO TO WWW.KEEPFOX.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION.
#8
Husband and wife are relaxing at home. Husband is on the internet. We see him clicking away. He turns to wife sitting on the couch.
HUSBAND: “Honey I just ordered you a fox skin coat. They’re delivering it DIRECT and it’s very expensive! It should be here soon!”
Doorbell rings. Husband answers it; it is the postal delivery guy empty handed. Awkward confused moment. Delivery guy hands over the signing clipboard.
POSTAL GUY: “I just need to you to sign.”
HUSBAND: “Sign for what? Where’s the package?”
POSTAL GUY: “I didn’t have time for the package, I came directly here.”
Husband is confused. Fade to tagline.
TAGLINE: WHAT GOOD IS DIRECT IF IT DOESN’T DELIVER?
NARR: ON SEPTEMBER 30, YOU COULD LOSE FX, FOX MOVIE CHANNEL, NATIONAL GEORAPHICS CHANNEL AND MORE! NOW THAT’S DEFINITELY NOT THE WAY TO GO! TELL DIRECTV YOU WANT YOUR FOX AND NOTHING LESS! GO TO WWW.KEEPFOX.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION.
“RUSSIAN GUY SPOOF” Commercials
#1
Russian guy walks in with usual opulent surroundings.
RUSSIAN GUY: “Chennels. I must hev all. So when DirecTV says no Fox, I say, eh I get my own Fox.”
A real Fox sits on pillow cushion next to the mini giraffe. Russian guy sits down on couch. Russian guy is about to kiss giraffe the same way as commercial, but the fox pounces and swallows the giraffe in one gobble.
RUSSIAN GUY: “Hmm. This not good.”
Like the original commercial, cue the Russian music and ending frame. It says, “More on the internetting www.keepfox.com”.
#2
Russian guy walks in. He takes off his robe and hands it to girls.
RUSSIAN GUY: “I must hev best. On September 30, DirecTV says maybe no more Fox Chennels.”
Russian guy sits down on couch with his mini giraffe beside him.
RUSSIAN GUY: “I say, is okey. Nothing stands in my way, I get my own fox. A real fox.”
Camera pans over to a real fox next to his giraffe. Cut back to a close up of his face. Russian guy does his long laugh. We hear the sound of a swallow or a gobble. Russian guy stops laughing suddenly.
RUSSIAN GUY: “Maybe thet was bad idea.”
Russian guy looks over at his fox. Camera pans over to fox with a giraffe tail hanging out of his mouth.
Like the original commercial, cue the Russian music and ending frame. It says, “More on the internetting www.keepfox.com”.